Peace With Oneself

Often times this is one of the hardest people to forgive…Oneself. We think we know ourselves the best, so much so that we are never merciful to ourselves, never cut ourselves slack, etc. I know I have struggled with this, and I think it is a combination of a fear of being perceived as lazy, overdeveloped sense of responsibility, thinking I can fix everything, etc. I know if you know me and you read this, you may disagree with my diagnosis, and that is ok. Maybe you see something I do not, but the point is that because we know ourselves, we do not allow ourselves any margin of errof. We think that if we do, others will preceive us as “slackers”, “making excuses”, and so on. Therefore we take on extra burdens because we think we are diligent when in reality we have little control over these such matters, then it explodes or implodes, and we look for someone to blame, and then look in the mirror. We mess up, feel guilty, get angry, hold ourselves to a higher standard, mess up, and the process repeats itself: a vicious cycle.

Now let me clarify what this post is not. This is not a defense of deliberate sloth. We as Christians often forget that there is joy in work, work does not lead to redemption, but part of the created order God had for humanity is the ability to work.

What I want to focus on this post is a bit of self-reflection. If the Christian worldview includes elements of Creation, Fall, Redemption, and Glorification, then it is through these lenses that we must once again turn if we are to understand what it means to have peace with oneself. When God created man in his image, he created us whole or shalom. Then, when sin entered the world, the aftermath was brokeness. Broken relationships between humans and God, between humans and each other, and humans with themselves. We do not see ourselves the way our Creator sees us. We err too far on one side or the other. Either (a) we see ourselves as perfect and in no need of a Savior (Creation without Redemption), or (b) we see ourselves as in no use of a Savior (Fall beyond Redemption). Either way, we fail to see ourselves the way our Lord see us…a beautiful masterpiece of His loving hands, broken and marred and hurting, and in need of being renewed. Once Jesus our Savior takes the burden of sin from our lives, why do we take it up again? What makes us not simply leave it at the cross? Rather than trust in Jesus for redemption and restoration, we trudge on trying to “do it ourselves” and we fall into the age old lie that we, by our own strength or effort or self-discipline or goodness can achieve shalom rather than accept it as a gift of love from our Redeemer. Once we see that we fail, we become bitter with ourselves and try again and just as the Greek Tradgic figure Sisyphus who tried to roll the rock up the hill again and again…and failed. Rather, why do we not simply throw our hands in the air, call out to God, and allow Him to transform our vision so that when we look in the mirror, we look with His eyes? Are you holding on to pass wrongs? Call upon the Lord to free you. Are you struggling with bitter failures? Realize God offers you another life, another item we all want…a second chance. Are you not liking who you are? Understand that God has forged you with loving yet strong, tender yet dependable hands and He loves you even when you feel like no one else on earth ever could. Forgive yourself of your flaws and realize that through the way of the cross, the way of the Master, man finds wholeness, he finds shalom. If God has given us peace, nothing can stop us from having peace with Him, with one another, and yes with ourselves too.
In His Peace,